Couples Counseling​

Couples therapy is for people in a relationship who are struggling to overcome challenges that block their connection and inhibit growth. You may find that you or your partner have lost a sense of sexual joy and satisfaction,or you may find yourself in negative communication cycles that escalate and feel destructive. Whatever the reason,couples work can facilitate clear communication, deepened connection, and better understanding of one another. This applies to couples of all sexual orientations, married or partnered, siblings or roommates. This work can also be helpful for partners who have decided to go their separate ways but want to facilitate a more amicable, collaborative ending.

Much of my work with couples is informed by my experience and practice of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), developed by Marshall Rosenberg, and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), developed by Sue Johnson. Each of these methods help people remove the barriers that get in the way of connecting from a place of deep personal truth. NVC helps us use words and communication as a way to transform our relationship with ourselves and others. EFT helps to expand and reorganize our emotional responses so that we can speak with less emotional reactivity and more direction.

As people in relationship, we are often threatened by our differences. But when people can stay in conversation about their differences, the relationship grows strong enough to tolerate such difference, and intimacy and closeness deepen.

With an atmosphere of safety, I can help you stay in the fire of difficult conversations long enough to discover unconscious triggers and facilitate a move towards deeper understanding of one another. This healing process creates more compassion and empathy which, in time, softens rigid patterns and opens up new avenues of connection.

I use a method called Emotionally Focused Couples’ Therapy. What is that?

EFT is a model of couples and family therapy intended to:expand and re-organize key emotional responses between couples and/or family members create a shift in interactional positions and initiate new cycles of interaction foster the creation of a secure bond between partners or family members.

I help you to stay in conversation about your differences, to learn to reach for each other and recreate safe emotional bonds. I provide a safe space where feelings and differences are heard and deeply understood FOR HOW THEY REALLY MATTER to each of you. We will look at where you get stuck in your negative patterns, which, despite your best efforts to resolve, perpetuate disconnection.

Reconnection is possible

When a relationship grows strong enough to tolerate differences, intimacy and closeness deepen. With an atmosphere of safety, I can help you stay in the fire of difficult conversations long enough to discover unconscious triggers and facilitate a move towards deeper understanding of one another. This healing process creates more compassion and empathy which, in time, softens rigid patterns and opens up new avenues of connection.

EFT is usually a short term (8-20 sessions), structured approach to couples therapy formulated in the early 80′s by Drs. Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg. EFT is also used with families. A substantial body of research outlining the effectiveness of EFT now exists. Research studies find that 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery and approximately 90% show significant improvements. For more information, go to www.iceeft.com/